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I always thought it interesting how silly the people who try and fit a square peg into a round hole, as if trying harder will make it work.

People who see someone they like based off looks and then try and make them be whatever fantasy they imagine that person fits, whatever personality they think their soul mate has they pretend like you are all those things even when you show them you really arent. Just cause you fit the bill look wise you should auto for the personality they want.

Its displeasing. I cant understand how some people can do that to another.

The tides have away of bringing in the most interesting people when i least expect them. Im greatful for my little crumb of the world and everything i have in it. I get to meet interresting folk that blend for a snippet to the lives i live. Some see more then 1 side and some never make it past the illusion.

I live 3 lives with 3 different sets of people and communication. 1 life is the crafted illusion that keeps kin at bay and provides a false safety blanket.

The 2nd life is real and i am tangible and half of myself is present. I feel a sort of happiness that comes with the freedom the illusion of the 1st life provides. I hold back still as this 2nd life isnt meant to ever blur with the 3rd.

My 3rd life is when i feel the most alive and i can shed away the rules, the illusion, the bad thoughts, the struggle to accept myself completely and i can be exactly what i want to be. Recently i have made a friend who sees this side and holds a like minded approach and i rejoice in both freedom and friend who understands the journey.

Ive never felt more lucky for a friend who navigates murky waters with just the stars to guide. Some of my best social moments have been because ofthis freedom. It gives me the strength i need to shed the illusion little by little. Most of my life i felt like i didnt deserve happiness but my friend has shown me that my path is worth going down.

COMMENTS

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ShipWreck
15:35 Apr 11 2018

It is always nice to have such trustworthy friends. Especially the one you are describing hopefully you can keep this friend through everything in your life. I wish I had a friend such as yours.

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Darkangel1876
12:06 Jun 19 2018

Hold on to that friend

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All she wanted was to dye eggs...

Sometimes I feel like my mum needs to pretend that things arent what they are and dying eggs gives her those types of moments, little escapes to a better world. It made her really happy.

She called me Monday to say not long after i left she had been driving and the engine had caught fire, described all the fears she felt and the rage at my sisters that theu didnt dye eggs with her.

That dying eggs could have been the last thing I did with her...

Part of me wants the mechanics blood for negligence to bring a sort of hell on him he will never understand.

The other half cant help but linger on the fucking eggs....